The Foil Breading.

Its approaching fast, London has the bug bad...and quite frankly I do too. What better excuse to cook than a wedding! I love weddings, always have, the shit (but actually great) music, the family bust ups, the underage drinking and of course, the food. And more importantly, the buffet.

Judging a party by the state of its buffet has always been a hobby of mine, you can really learn a lot about a person solely based on the buffet equation, which is E + V x N = S

E = Effort - Self explanatory really. Effort shows, some quality ingredients here, a nice garnish there, a handy selection of condiments to supplement acute flavours over yonder. It all counts.

V = Variety - If you can fit one of everything onto a 9 inch paper plate then there is too little.

N = Nostalgia - Now this is maybe the most important part. Its all well and good having miniature venison Scotch Eggs, Swordfish Fingers and Smoked Salmon Blinis BUT you need your buffet to, in some part, resemble a 5 year old's birthday party. I'm talking the classics; the cheese and pineapple hedgehog, tiny sandwiches with no crusts, shit crisps with all the flavours mixed in one bowl...and the mother of all buffet items, Party Rings. No single buffet is complete without Party Rings. FACT.

S = Success - Combine these three with a subtle mix of delicacy and you'll have it.

I have a Royal Wedding Party to go to on friday, and I have a great idea for a contemporary twist on a classic british dish, but its a surprise so you'll just have to keep guessing....watch this space.

Toodles

Biff x

Oh Sergio, what an Eaton Mess.

After the Spurs game last night I turned over to watch Barcelona V Real Madrid, and it seemed like nobody on the pitch, or in the crowd for that matter, was really too fussed...maybe after the 3-3 anything would've felt tame, but it still felt like it had the importance of a conference game. Minus the awful pies and watery Oxtail soup out of a plastic cup.

My suspicions were all but confirmed this morning with news of Sergio 'Butter Fingers' Ramos treating the cup with a healthy amount of disregard;

Anywho, to tie this all in I was eating my scrummy dessert whilst taking in the mild mannered atmos of the Copa del Ray;

Eaton Mess

Roughly crunch up half a medium sized brittle meringue nest into a large wine glass, or any bowl.

Generously dollop on some thick whipped double cream, then then same with some sort of berry compote (mine was cherries, strawberries and rasberries reduced with some icing sugar and a dash of water then left to cool once thickened)

Go again with the meringue, more cream and finish with another large spoon of compote, lightly mix and serve.

Todays Derby Day Cookball

Today was derby day, Spurs v Arse...nal.

And what a game it was! 3-3 and end to end, a 'true advert for English football' they said, 'a wonderful game for the neutral' they said, 'We should've f**king beat them' I said, loudly... at the TV.

I'm not a neutral, I'm a Spurs fan. Which has meant a life of mediocrity, until now. Now we've gone and got good, not amazing, but good. Which is bad, because now I have a healthy dose of unwanted hope and expectation riding me, like bad sunburn a day before the Annual Back Slapping Convention.

On the plus side I enjoyed the game, sort of, with a nice dinner cooked by yours truly.

Baked Salmon and Pea Hash with Poached Egg

The Salmon was wrapped in foil with finely chopped garlic, parsley, olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper. Then baked it in the oven at 180C for 15 minutes before opening the foil and leaving it in for a further 5 minutes to slightly concentrate the lovely juices.

Meanwhile I boiled some peeled potatoes, pushed them through a potato ricer and mixed them with a knob of butter, a splash of milk, a handful of frozen peas, some fresh parsley and a pinch of salt and pepper.

Then the salmon was forked, easynow, into the mash in chunks so as not to break it up too much. The mix then went into a cake cutter to make a hockey puck shape a few times over.

Now was a perfect time for me to gently break two eggs into to an inch of simmering water and turn the heat down to low...

I transferred the Hash Pucks into a hot pan with a splash of olive oil to brown both sides, about 3 minutes each, by that time the eggs were ready and were served on top of the Hash with a drizzle of the oil from the pan to finish.

By this time it was 2-1 to Arsenal. Balls.

Biff x

Cooking listenings an that.

Like most people, I expect, I love listening to things when I cook.

Various sonic treats include; music, radio shows, podcasts, football, also the sound of the council estate behind my house, which is far more interesting than you might think. I'm pretty sure i've, audibly of course, witnessed drug deals, stabbings, marriage break ups and police brutality.

I find it relaxing (not the stabbings/brutality/marriage difficulty you understand), inspiring and occasionally hilarious, and genuinely think that it influences my creations in some way.

In light of this I thought i'd share with you some of my favourite musings whilst I am hunched over my chopping board;

The Adam and Joe Show Podcast - The second best podcast in living history.

The Guardian Football Weekly Podcast - Easily the best one. No questions.

The Jay and Silent Bob Get Old SModcast - Without question the most toilet humour in any podcast on the web, but also quite moving as its a kind of 'live therapy' session for Jason Mewes tracking his rehabilitation from heroin addiction.

5Live - For the football, obvs, although on a sunday, after the football, I really enjoy Pienaar's Politics and On the Money. Both very informative.

6Music - For music, obvs, I can't tell you guys how much I love 6Music, I nearly did a cry when they threatened to close it a few years back. I also, quite drastically, created a facebook group called 'Replace Fearne With Laverne' in case they did axe it completely. I am not a fan of Fearne Cotton, evidently.

Enjoy :)

Welcome!

Hi everyone, I'm Biff and this is my Kitchen...um, actually it's my blog, but i'm writing it in my kitchen. Does that count? I hope it does. Anyway now thats cleared up let me introduce myself, i'm Biff...wait i've already said that.

Ok lets start again, hi, and welcome to Biff's Kitchen.

I spend most of my time here, its pretty neat, i've got more pans than Peter, more utensils than Johnny Five after an upgrade and more spices than the Millenium Falcon during a Kessel run (Not many people will get that, worry not if you don't, It means you're not an utter, utter speccy four eyed geek...like me).

Does being a geek and a chef make me a gehf? or maybe an cheek...im not sure, answers on a postcard.

Anyway, i'm off to cook something,

Toodles x